To Be Young
by brownbagspecial
Summary: Drakken tries to be as hip as he possible can. but the results are usually messy and traumatizing. Possible series of one shots.
1. But first

This** story was written under the influence of the internet and my generation's foolishness. Enjoy!**

Kim Possible and her boyfriend Ron Stoppable breathed easily as they went to penetrate a certain mad scientist's lair. Could he be more obvious? Kim thought as she went through what seemed the same 'secret entrance' since 2003.

"Yes Shego, with this evil braintransmit-a-fier, I can turn Middleton and eventually the world into my evil minions! Bwhahaha! Its foolproof!" The blue scientist gloated to his beautiful, yet now miserable assistant Shego. As cool as a cucumber the green woman turned around fully ready for a fight with her plasma glowing, awaiting for the teen twit to charge. They've gone through the same situation way too much.

"NNgh Kim Possible!" He spat with annoyance. "How did you get in here?"

"How I always get in here," Kim deadpanned with an equal amount of exasperation. Usually these encounters, no matter how repetitive they were, had her pumped. But today, for some reason everyone's energy was drained and the excitement was long gone. "Just give it up Drakken, I have the police waiting for my signal."

"Nnngh," said the irritated faux doctor. "That's what you think, but Shego and I-"

"Nope. there is no Shego and I. You're on your own, doc. I'm going on break,"The green woman flipped her long, curly black hair and lounged herself on the maroon couch.

"Shego! I haven't have time for this! You just can't suddenly go on break in the middle of this kind of situation!" Drakken was-to be vulgar-really losing his shit.

"C'mon Drakken you know the drill,"Kim sighed as she looked at the sad, sad man.

"Fine," Drakken said as he uncharacteristically gave up. "But first let me take a selfie," He pulled out a mobile phone and began to take pictures of himself doing a horrid pout that made him look like a duck.

Kim,Ron,Shego,and even Rufus were traumatized that day, but they weren't the only ones.

_Later_

Monty was just drinking his bananna smoothie going through this trendy new app Evilgram, when he saw a horrifying picture of his fellow villian making what it seemed to be the infamous duck face with a police officer and a very embarrassed Shego and Kim Possible.

#Can't hold me #Selfie #Don'tdropthesoap #Thatlairtho

A/N and that was a reoccurring day-dream I had during finals.


	2. New exercise

**And this is what you get when you mix hip hop, youtube, and fanfiction together.**

A knock on the lair door startled the odd colored couple from their tv zombie session. Dr Drakken got up with a sore sensation in his arm where Shegi previously laid her head on.

A young and unhappy man presented a small package to the older blue man. "Is this the correct address? Sign here please." He practically shoved the clipboard in Drakken's hands. Surprised to see Shego's name, he quickly signed it and slammed the door into the man's face.

"Who was that, " Shego asked.

"A package came for you."

"From who?"

"From cousin Eddie. It says 'I know how you like to exercise. PS Thank me later Cuz.'" Shego peered over his shoulder as he opened the package. It was a Dvd simpky labeled Twerksanity.

"What the hell? '' Shego's emerald eyes crossed in confusion.

"Is this the new exercising craze. I stop paying attention after Prancersise. I think we should try it out. "

"Dr. D, I don't think this is the kind of exercise that you'll be comfortable with. "

"Please Shego I'm a grown man I can handle this. " Drakken made up his mind and Shego sighed as she changed into her work out clothes.

Later

"How do they do that so fast? Gasp you can do it upside down too?" Drakken was astonished at the skill it took to do this. He mouth was agape as he watched a small Asian man move his rear in an impossible speed. He looked over to his green lover, she was actually good at this (even though she was struggling to keep up).

"Shego how do you do that so well? "

"I just copied what I saw, its all over the Internet doc. "

An evil smile stretched on his scarred face. "So you've had a lot of practice ey?"

"Doy I just said that. "

"Care to join me to my work study to see in a better light, " he guided her by the hand. Perhaps this twerking wasn't so bad when he could take it in his advantage.

If you wwould like to see what they were watchin, go on youtube and look up twerksanity by timothydelaghetto. Now what young things can I have him do now?


	3. Green

**I was thinking what is something else i can have Drakken do? And then I called up an old friend and he gave me this idea whilst walking down memory lane...**

It was an eexhausting day for the residents of Drakken's Caribbean lair, for their boss had ran them down to the ground with the latest failed and very complex evil scheme. The henchmen laid around throughout the lair as the master of the house sulked in the privacy of his study.

Across the hall, a green female was in an equal bad mood for she, once again, was charged with the preparations and the clean up of today's mess. She opened up her windows, for she was about to open up her mind. Reaching in the drawer that she kept her underwear, she retrieved a small black box.

Opening it up, she held the herbal medicine she needed. Oh yes, it had been one of those days. Lighting up the long joint, she took a hit, she began to cough. It had been a long time since she did this, it wasn't common for her to resort to this and she was a little rusty.

As she began to let the smoke fill her head with light headed giddiness, a short knock interrupted her. Before she could hide what she was doing, Drakken was already bursting through the door.

"Shego I-"he stopped mid-sentence. He took a big inhale and closed his eyes. It smelled like...his college years. He looked at his guilty employee with disappointment. "Shego are you smoking reefer! "

Quickly covering his mouth, she shoved him in the room. "Shhh!"

"Don't shh me! Its my lair! You know my policy on secrets! What do you have to say for yourself? "

For the first time, Shego was speechless. "You want some?" She asked with a faint sarcastic smile.

"Give me a light, "Drakken demanded. Shego was taken aback and surprisingly obeyed without a word.

15 minutes later...

"You don't think I'm a failure do you? "

"Nah you just suck at succeeding, that's all. "

"You know I don't think Kim Possible is a really a redhead. "

"What do you mean? "

"I haven't seen one freckle on her since we've met." Shego thought on that for a moment.

"Yeah that little bitch got that from a bottle, " Shego nodded.

And for the rest of the night they laid on the green villianess' bed talking about everything and nothing at the same time.


	4. Sweet Siri

**To cccybercorpsesnake who is a secret psychic**

"NNnngh Shego how do you pull up this Flappy Bird? " Drakken yelled at his assistant. Shego looked over her glossy magazine with a uninterested look.

"Maybe you can't find it because it isn't on a Razor n" she quipped.

"Then what can I play it with? "

Shego shrugged, "Try an iphone or something. "

Later that night Drakken stayed up all night looking up the iphone5. All the ads were the same.

_Play chopsticks!_

_Cure cancer!_

_It even comes in pink!_

Drakken was sold. He express ordered one. He would've just went to the store, but his cousin Eddie told him that Apple employees were snobby and he didn't want to be bothered by people anyway, after all he was the great Dr Drakken.

He opened up the phone the next day with child like giddiness. Shego watched the scientist struggle with the basics of working the smart phone. But he got the hang of it , like he always did and Drakken was in love...

...For about two weeks.

The phone started to get annoying, his text were being auto corrected (as if the great Dr Drakken needed to be corrected!), the little things called apps kept being forced closed, his email was slow, it constantly needed updating, and some crazy robotic woman kept thinking he was talking to her!

He was going absolutely mad! The Apple Store was no help, and to make matters worse, Flappy Bird was gone. Now he had to play with this Flappy Justin Bieber fellow, wwho wouldn't stop saying swag.

Just as he was about to destroy the 200 something dollars that he wasted, he looked up to see that the new Galaxy S 10 was coming out. Perhaps Android was better.


	5. Torture

**Something extra before I sleep. ..that and I might not be updating my weird crack fics **

Drakken had finally found it! Kim Possible's weakness!

He found out when he saw her dragging her buffoon of a boyfriend to a local movie store. What torture did she have? A whooping 5 Dvds of what seemed to be the same movie or maybe it was a series.

"Twilight? Kimmie likes Twilight? How pathetic! " Shego laughed, she really laughed until her sides hurt.

"So you've heard of this Twilight? " Drakken was beginning to get that trademark evil smirk.

"Of course! Who hasn't? " Who hadn't heard of the worst movies and books of all time?

"Good since you're familiar with it, surely you wouldn't mind doing some research with me? "

"Oh no! Please don't make me! " Shego begged.

"Come Shego. Let's watch a movie. " he said evilly.

When the end credits rolled for the last movie, Drakken and Shego were horrified. Shego couldn't even make it through the first movie, let alone five in a row.

Drakken was equally as traumatized, but at least he knew how to get Shego to listen to him.


End file.
